Where Did Our Confidence Go?

April 1, 2014

Don't hide your feelings! -Photo by JR

I don’t remember this, but my parents always tell me a story about when I was three.  We were in a store and someone came over to us and said, “You’re a pretty little girl,” and I very definitively responded, “I know.”  After that experience, I learned to say thank you when people complimented me.  As I grew older, I began to realize that I had not been a very pretty little girl, and I don’t think I was anything to look at as a teenager or woman either. Unfortunately, I’m not alone in this transition.  Far too many of my awesome friends don’t think they are all that awesome.  It always baffles me when some of my most intelligent, funny, creative, and attractive friends ask me for dating advice.  It baffles me even more when they throw in a self-deprecating line about something that they feel makes them less than worthy…. of what?  Of a date?  With another imperfect animal known as a human?

Put yourself out there! -Photo by JR

We were all adorable little kids with big dreams, and too many of us grew up to believe we lost or never had any beauty or talent or interesting thing about us.  We can blame the fashion industry (a size 0 was too big, so they made 00).  We can blame the economy (we’d have jobs if one of the 1000′s of places we’ve applied would just, you know, HIRE us).  We can blame social media (you mean we never have to tell people how we really feel face to face or even MEET them?!?!).  We can blame the people we call friends (if s/he doesn’t like it, it must not be worth a darn thing!).  In the end, we have to get past our lagging self-esteem and muster up the confidence to put ourselves out there and put our hearts on the line.

It's time to put your heart on the line. -Photo by JR.

Here are 10 things to remember:

1. Your parents were right, but so were everyone else’s.  You are all beautiful, smart, witty, humourous, talented, creative, and worthy of everlasting love.

2. We are all embarrassed by something, but when we are with the right people, they will love us anyway.  Our friends do, so why should anyone else be any different?

3. Once people are in their 20′s, they usually can handle being liked without getting weirded out by it.  This means, if the other person isn’t interested, it probably won’t affect the friendship/co-worker relationship/Candy Crush Saga game.

4. Do NOT be a creeper.  This is particularly important if you are pursuing a stranger.   Do not stare.  Do not follow.  By all means, buy that hottie at the bar a drink.  Give him/her your number.  Ask him/her on a date.  Just whatever you do, do NOT come on too strong.  You want a date.  You can’t possibly know if you want marriage yet.

5.  If you are interested in someone, you have two options.  You can express an interest, or you can keep your mouth shut.  It is really simple: If you don’t share your feelings you don’t have a chance unless the other person does something instead.  It isn’t time efficient.  If you open your mouth, you will get your answer.  The sooner you have your answer, the sooner you can either develop your relationship or move onto the next one.

Open up your mouth!











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DimpleDate.com is a site dedicated to bringing you dating options beyond the chain restaurant and Hollywood blockbuster.

Carpe Diem,

Jeannette Ryder,
Owner and Author of DimpleDate.com