It's over! -Photo by JR
April Fool’s is by far one of the best holidays in the world!!! Make sure you have fun when you prank, and follow these helpful hints:
1. Don’t mess up your date or long-term relationship by fake breaking up with him or her on April Fool’s Day. And if you really MUST end a relationship, I suggest you do it on March 31st or April 2nd just so there is no confusion or misguided hope.
2. Don’t tell your date that you are sick or have been in an accident when you haven’t. That’s just cruel.
3. If you don’t want incessant questions that will last the rest of your life or the rest of your relationship (whichever ends first), it isn’t a good idea to tell your date that s/he is fat.
4. You never want to tell your date that you are pregnant even if you are a dude because, as we saw on Oprah, even dudes can get pregnant. This just plays with fate.
5. Lastly, you don’t want to have someone else tell your date that you are dead. It’s kinda a mood killer.
April 1, 2014
Don't hide your feelings! -Photo by JR
I don’t remember this, but my parents always tell me a story about when I was three. We were in a store and someone came over to us and said, “You’re a pretty little girl,” and I very definitively responded, “I know.” After that experience, I learned to say thank you when people complimented me. As I grew older, I began to realize that I had not been a very pretty little girl, and I don’t think I was anything to look at as a teenager or woman either. Unfortunately, I’m not alone in this transition. Far too many of my awesome friends don’t think they are all that awesome. It always baffles me when some of my most intelligent, funny, creative, and attractive friends ask me for dating advice. It baffles me even more when they throw in a self-deprecating line about something that they feel makes them less than worthy…. of what? Of a date? With another imperfect animal known as a human?
Put yourself out there! -Photo by JR
We were all adorable little kids with big dreams, and too many of us grew up to believe we lost or never had any beauty or talent or interesting thing about us. We can blame the fashion industry (a size 0 was too big, so they made 00). We can blame the economy (we’d have jobs if one of the 1000′s of places we’ve applied would just, you know, HIRE us). We can blame social media (you mean we never have to tell people how we really feel face to face or even MEET them?!?!). We can blame the people we call friends (if s/he doesn’t like it, it must not be worth a darn thing!). In the end, we have to get past our lagging self-esteem and muster up the confidence to put ourselves out there and put our hearts on the line.
It's time to put your heart on the line. -Photo by JR.
Here are 10 things to remember:
1. Your parents were right, but so were everyone else’s. You are all beautiful, smart, witty, humourous, talented, creative, and worthy of everlasting love.
2. We are all embarrassed by something, but when we are with the right people, they will love us anyway. Our friends do, so why should anyone else be any different?
3. Once people are in their 20′s, they usually can handle being liked without getting weirded out by it. This means, if the other person isn’t interested, it probably won’t affect the friendship/co-worker relationship/Candy Crush Saga game.
4. Do NOT be a creeper. This is particularly important if you are pursuing a stranger. Do not stare. Do not follow. By all means, buy that hottie at the bar a drink. Give him/her your number. Ask him/her on a date. Just whatever you do, do NOT come on too strong. You want a date. You can’t possibly know if you want marriage yet.
5. If you are interested in someone, you have two options. You can express an interest, or you can keep your mouth shut. It is really simple: If you don’t share your feelings you don’t have a chance unless the other person does something instead. It isn’t time efficient. If you open your mouth, you will get your answer. The sooner you have your answer, the sooner you can either develop your relationship or move onto the next one.
Open up your mouth!
April 1, 2014
Silence scares me. Perhaps it’s because I have nerve-deafness in my left ear, and I always wonder when or if going to too many concerts as a teenager is going to do me in, but I’m probably really scared of silence because I’m a highly energized person with a lot of nervous energy. I prefer to ask questions and force the other person to talk, but if the other person isn’t speaking enough, then I need to chime in and ramble. I can’t say that people are always interested in what I have asked or have said, but I can tell you they always responded, and that silent moment never loomed over a date.
Recently my friend was complaining because a couple guys were interested in her, but all they would message her was “Hi.” or “Hey.” I was thinking about how they could have improved their opening. They could have said something like, “Hi. You’re really interesting because…” Or “Hey. Some weather we’ve been having, right?” Neither of those would be particularly telling, but they might help develop into a more in-depth conversation.
Then I thought about how many people there are in the world and how little time we’d have to get to know all of the people in the world if we continued to waste time on all the wrong people for us. Let’s be real. If you meet someone online, you hopefully spend a couple weeks or so getting to know that person online before you even bother meeting, let alone get that stranger’s last name. You probably go on one or two dates where you try to figure out if the person is a Stranger-Danger before you decide if you’d even like to continue dating the person, and by that point, how many weeks have passed without knowing if you are even compatible?
People have come up with a lot of taboos for first dates, but I’m going to give you the number one taboo in any situation, ANY situation: The only taboo is wasting time.
Conversations to Have on Dates or with Anyone:
*Do you snore?
*What do you find funny?
*Do you have any allergies?
*Do you have any pets? If not, do you want any pets?
*What do you think about the possibility of peace in the Middle East?
*What is/was your favourite subject in school? Best subject? Worst subject?
*Where are you from?
*What schools did you attend?
*What is the strangest thing you’ve ever done?
*How much time do you spend exercising per week?
*What do/don’t you eat?
*What is the coolest thing you’ve ever done?
*Do you believe in a higher power?
*Will you date someone whose religious or lack of religious beliefs differ from yours?
*What are your thoughts on abortion?
*What political ideology do you favor?
*What is your favorite type of music?
*What do you think about animal testing?
*Have you ever been abducted by aliens? (Trust me. You should get this question over with early.)
*Are you a left-handed or right-handed?
*What is your sign? Are we astrologically compatible? Does that matter to you?
*Who is/was your favourite world leader?
*What is your opinion of the media?
*Do you watch TV? If so, what are your favourite programmes?
*What is one toy you always wanted but never received?
*Do you celebrate holidays and birthdays? If so, how do you celebrate them?
*What was your most embarrassing moment?
*Do you like sports? Do you play any sports? Do you watch any sports?
*What is a typical week like for you?
*What is your work schedule? (If you have opposing schedules, you might as well learn that early.)
*Have you ever been in love? If so, what happened?
*If you were any animal, what would you be? Why?
*Are you prejudiced?
*How do you feel about equality?
*What do you think about alternative forms of energy?
*Where do you hang out?
*How would you/how do you discipline your kids?
*Do you use/have you ever tried drugs?
*Do you drink?
*Do you smoke anything?
*What are some things that you’ve always wanted to do?
*Do you like museums?
*Do you like art/literature/poetry/music/theatre/comedy/movies? Favourites?
*What person had the most profound impact on your life?
*Who is/are your best friend(s)?
*Are you close to your family? Why or why not?
*Do you travel? If so, where have you been? If not, are there places you’d like to go? If not, what are your reasons for staying close to home?
*What do you think about healthcare? Education? The economy? Immigration? The Occupy movement? The environment? Gun control? Hedonism? Monogamy? Blood diamonds? Hipsters? Labels? Yoga? Bagpipes? The Cowboys? Authority? The police? Unions? Politics within music? A woman president? Corporate America? Monopolies? The free market? Musicals? The beach? The mountains? The outdoors? Photography? Costumes? Uniforms? Snow days? Pumpkin patches? Cars, trains, planes, boats, bicycles, motorcycles, mopeds, scooters, skateboards, etc.? Graffiti? Litter? Secret societies? Dancing?
*Do you ever dance?
*Do you sing in the car and/or shower?
*What are you looking for?
*What is a deal breaker?
*What is one thing that you wish I knew about you?
March 31, 2014